There was a moment, probably around the third pair of stretched-out stained leggings and still wearing a nursing bra even though I hadn’t pumped in months, that I realized I *missed me.* I was emerging from the newborn trenches and transitioning to the toddler phase, but I didn’t look like a woman who was finally getting more sleep and attempting to leave the house to reenter society. The abrupt downgrade from “stylish professional” to “frumpy blob” happened quickly during a COVID bedridden twin pregnancy, and I realized the transition back to chic was going to be a much harder uphill climb. Somewhere in the fog of endless dirty diapers and constant snack crumbs, I decided “I want my chic back” and it would be worth the effort. 

Motherhood is talked about with a divided timeline- your life BEFORE becoming a mom, and your life AFTER you become a mom. For some things this is true: anatomically your body is different having carried and delivered a child (or twins in my case), you understand the word “tired” on a whole new level, your mental capacity to care for other living beings expands to infinite limits. But there are also before and after timelines that new mothers are told that I don’t agree with, and in my life I have rebelled against- the cultural “before and afters.”